People aren't snowflakesI haven't been able to play my violin or draw since about March. I'm not sure what my problem is, I just feel like I can't. Every time I get near the charcoal or the fiddle I feel I shouldn't, or I don't want to.
So, I'm sorry I haven't put anything up here for so long. I just can't. I don't know how long this will last. Probably until I'm not depressed anymore. My birth control pills have only done so much. So I guess that means I won't be drawing again for a few years, when I'm done with college.
I miss the summer already. I went to work, coded, did math, and fit pulsar pulse profiles to graphs, and I came home. It was simple and fun for me. Now I don't have time for my pulsars with classes. I feel the only thing I really have is novel writing, which is my favourite class this semester, and it's making me rethink being a physics major. I hate physics. I'm terrible at it. I only like astrophysics. So I don't know what to do.
But Deviantart isn't the place for existential crises. It's a place for art, something I don't have anymore. I hope it comes back. It might. I don't know what it is I have to get over, but maybe I'll get over it soon. This place will be the first to know.
Sadness
Devious Comments
I didn't go for near the prestige and whatnot that you did but I can relate to the "rethinking my major" thing: French 232 is the academic equivalent of being kicked head first into a wall about three thousand times.
...I guess being good in Grand Haven means jack everywhere else.
at least you somewhat like college b better than college a, even if the courseload is surprisingly harder and more work.
...okay I'm beginning to ramble, dunno if my input does any good or bad, just figured I'd say something, so...
p.s. I didn't know bc could actually HELP with the sad stuff; the patch made me almost bipolar, but clinically I'm just depressed (yay me).
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So, if the "self-destruct" button only makes itself destruct, we're safe...right?
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DEATH comes for you all!!! Mwahahahahaha..wait..where'd I leave my toaster? Has anyone SEEN my toaster? I cant commit genocide without my toaster!
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If the wind no longer calls to you, it is time to see if you have forgotten your name.
And being good in Grand Haven can actually make people think you're a prodigy. In GH, it's normal for people to play instruments and do Science O at the same time. I found at MIT that people tended to specialize in one thing, and being able to do both was regarded as a special gift. In GH, it made you normal. So...*shrug*
And regarding your French class, it's possible things will get better. That's the only reason I'm sticking with physics, it's supposed to get better. Gen classes suck.
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If the wind no longer calls to you, it is time to see if you have forgotten your name.
Deviantart is also one of the only ways I have contact with a wonderful and interesting person, so don't forsake it! Even if you don't post a lot of art, I still like to hear from you.
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"He's delerious"
"I'm sodding not, I'm People Covered in Fish."
I think you're wonderful and interesting, too.
Are you a senior this year?
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If the wind no longer calls to you, it is time to see if you have forgotten your name.
I am a senior! I still can't believe it, though.
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"He's delerious"
"I'm sodding not, I'm People Covered in Fish."
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Temporal anomalies don't kill people... they were just never born.
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